Rob Hughes' Eulogy for Frank Peterson
Presented Sept. 10, 2001


We are here today to celebrate the life of Frank Peterson. As we sit here, each of us remembers Frank in a different way--a colleague, a friend, a golf buddy, a son, a husband, and a father. 

My name is Rob Hughes. Many of you know me, but there are also many who do not. I have been Frank's friend since fifth grade summer school when we were sent out to do every journalism student's first assignment:  interview a teacher. We became as close as two ten- year-old boys could be, and despite periodic divergences caused by such things as college, military service, and marriages, we kept coming together again over the years. 

I guess that's why Pat and Stacey and Kerry have honored me by their request to present the eulogy. I've known Frank through virtually all phases of his life, and in a way I represent the link between those of you who have known him through sports, or through his profession, or through his various family members and friends. 

Frank's Mom is a second mother to me. She made Frank's friends feel like members of the family. She has all the attributes of the stereotyped sit-com mother except that she is smarter than the rest of them; she is loving and warm hearted, and a homemaker in the truest sense of the word. She was a single parent when it was even more difficult and less accepted than it is now. She dealt with all the traumas of children and pubescent teenagers of both sexes. And, if my memory serves me correctly, she really was able to solve all our problems within the allotted 30 minutes even though she had to skip the commercials to do it. 

By her example she built the same moral and ethical baseline of values into Frank and Sharon, and I'd like to think they also rubbed off onto the rest of us. 

She too was a school teacher, and taught at Mira Costa during our freshman year before transferring to newly opened and short lived Aviation High School 

Many of you know Frank as a teacher. Unlike many people who go to work every day because that's what they do, Frank, like his mother, went out to teach each day because that's who he was

Throughout his 36 years of teaching high school Frank touched the lives of students and teachers alike. Stacey and Kerry remember visiting his classroom as children, and experienced firsthand the genuine respect and affection that he felt for his students and which they reciprocated. I remember Frank telling me about the games he would incorporate into his classroom to heighten the student's involvement in the subject matter, and how he would make current events a daily activity. His passion for teaching never waned. Just last year he was so excited about the interest his students showed in the electoral process. Teaching, and the relationships that grew from it, meant so much to Frank that he saved and treasured each of the many thank-you cards and letters he received from former students and colleagues through the years. 

Frank got a jump on me when he went straight to college from high school. I was not a good student, and my study habits had not improved in the intervening three years. As my first set of college finals approached Frank and our friend Wayne Overbeck cornered me and asked if I was ready. "Sure", I said with my usual casual evasiveness whenever asked a question about school. And walked right into the ambush. "What can you tell me about the 'Spot Incident'" Frank asked? I said it had to do with my U.S. History class, but neither of them felt that was a sufficiently detailed response. I was impressed that they had retained this information at least three years even though neither was facing an exam. After about 15 minutes of this, I gradually began to realize that what they were really telling me was that I needed to approach college with a different attitude than the way I coasted through high school. The lesson stuck, and I probably would not have completed college without that lesson. 

Frank also knew that to be a real teacher you must never stop being a student. That was part of why Frank used to bring current events into class; he wanted his students to be aware of the importance of knowing what's going on in the world around them and to expand their horizons beyond what they saw on TV and to and from school. It was why he was constantly reading autobiographies, historical novels, and a variety of textbooks. 

His daughters also remember the things that Frank taught them - the importance of education, the right way to throw a baseball, to be self-reliant, and on each of their 16th birthdays, how to put oil in a car. More recently he was teaching Helena to drive. 

Frank taught by example as well. His generosity was boundless, and he always made time for family, whether it was summertime camping trips, Thursday night dinners with his mom, or birthday and other holiday celebrations. Frank always welcomed friends and significant others at these occasions. His motto was "the more the merrier." 

He felt that everyone deserved a chance to succeed. As a Little League Coach he made sure that everybody played. One of his proudest accomplishments was the development of an introductory baseball league where the managers pitched so that seven- and eight-year-olds could develop hitting skills without the trauma of striking out. As a result, this fostered self-esteem in children who did not have a natural talent for sports. 

Sports have always been an important part of Frank's life. He was a natural athlete with excellent hand-eye coordination. He could pick up a bat, racket, glove or ball, and achieve immediate competency. As children he and I played every sport you could imagine, and modified the rules, playing field, and equipment to meet our needs. We played one-on-one tackle football for hours on end. We played soccer in the 1950's, when any observer would probably assume our arms were paralyzed. Frank was a member of the Mira Costa High School Track Team and the National Championship Cross-Country team. 

We invented Fantasy Horse Racing. We developed a ridiculously complex game that included dice, chessboards, odds, purses, and endless record keeping. This game went on with regularly scheduled events for at least two years. When weather would not permit playing football outdoors we played indoors with trading cards, dice, rulers, and coins. Frank's mother had the patience of a saint as we rearranged the living room furniture into grandstand configuration. She only required that we turn her stadium back into a home when we were done. Fantasy Baseball was literally child's play for Frank. 

Frank also worked to bring laughter to our lives. He loved puns and I'm sure that all of us were a victim of these at one time or another. He also liked comic strips. As he and Pat were first dating, he used to put a comic in her mailbox at school every day. 

Frank and I used to engage in punning contests where we would throw one liners back and forth. On one occasion we entered into what became known as "The Tree Sequence". This included such phrases as "You need to get down to the root of the problem", "Stick to the issue--you keep branching into other areas", "You're barking up the wrong tree", and finally ended with "Maybe we should just leaf it alone". Other people would sometimes join in, but they never understood what it was really about. They felt the object was to get the last or the best line in, but the whole purpose was the simply the joy of participation, and keeping the ball in the air as long as possible. 

I have a story to tell you. Frank did not actually make me promise to never tell his mother this story; he simply assumed that I knew better. I don't. So now I'm going to tell her of an episode that might seem out of character to many of you, although we know it wasn't. One hot, boring, summer day at Mira Costa High School, Frank opened a window at the back of the room and climbed out the window while the teacher was talking to the chalkboard (we all know teachers who pay more attention to the board than the students). Those of us who were aware of this were highly entertained, and it occurred to me that the ideal follow-up was for the whole class to gradually disappear out the window. I didn't have the nerve to follow him, but I knew I would see him when the class was over. 

But ten minutes later Frank surprised everyone, including the teacher, when he came back in the front door. The teacher asked him in a confused manner where he had been. Frank explained that he was returning from the errand to the office that the teacher had sent him on 15 minutes earlier. The teacher's confusion was unabated, but since he could not come up with a better explanation, Frank emerged unscathed. 

His humor was often self-deprecating and reflected his natural modesty. He made the comment once that he felt he was a pretty good volleyball player, but he was only the fourth best in his family. When I shared this with Kerry, she mirrored the modesty by saying that he was actually being kind to her--she claimed the rank of number four. 

Frank did crossword puzzles daily. We all know how this works. You sit down with the puzzle and some of us use crossword dictionaries (paper or digital) and a pencil with an eraser. I usually get one of those extra large erasers you can stick over the pencil eraser. All Frank used was a pen. And a slight grin when he was aware that you had noticed. 

This past July I was honored to be a part of Frank and Pat's wedding in Santa Barbara. Frank was walking on air, and I will always remember the light in his eyes on that special day. I had not met Pat's family (except for Helena). I was delighted and impressed with all of them. I am so pleased that I have had that opportunity, and I know that Frank had felt the same as he grew to know them. I know how much he loved and respected Pat, and she has told me how she felt about him. She described him as a kind, generous and wonderful man. She is so happy to have shared his life if even for such a relatively brief time. 

For his part, I know how Frank loved and respected her. I also know how hard he worked and how patient he was to earn her love and her hand. 

Frank is loved and he will be missed but he will also be remembered in our hearts and in the way he touched our lives with the lessons that he passed on. 

It has occurred to me repeatedly over the years that if I had a brother, it would be Frank. In more recent years I have realized that I do have a brother, and it is Frank. Frank is part of who I am and always will be. Just as he is a part of who his mother is, who his sister Sharon is, and who Kerry and Stacey are. He has become part of who Pat and Helena are. As long as that is true, and as long as we pass those characteristics on to those whose lives we touch, Frank will still be here. 

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